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  2. 54. “You Didn’t Marry You!” with Dr. Danielle Manalo

Sep 20, 2021

For a free copy of The Medical Marriage Survival Guide: An Instruction Manual For Physicians in Love, visit https://library.medicinemarriageandmoney.com/the-medical-marriage and I will send it to you!

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WHAT YOU WILL DISCOVER IN THIS EPISODE

 

Medicine: 

  • First-generation Filipina physician
  • Her parents were married 38 years before he died 5 years ago from gastric cancer
  • Imposter syndrome and perfectionism
    • Service and helping others, perception of being inferior
    • Didn’t think I could be a doctor
    • Crying, away from home, close friends helped, afraid to ask for help
    • The more people you surround yourself with, the easier the burden becomes
  • Fireball in year 2 of residency when she found her voice



Marriage: 

  • Told she could not have a boyfriend in grade school….until 18 while her brother...
  • The threshold for travel was very different
  • Short Filipina girl surrounded by people who did not look similar
  • How his parents were more lenient
  • Seek a partner who has gifts that you seek to improve in your own
  • Structured vs. laid-back ----parenting
  • Choosing the person who has the gifts that you lack
  • Friends at first sight!!!!! 
    • Jumped into a marriage 
    • Catholic retreat vs. the 4-hour workshop
    • When her ex asked, “who do you think is in charge of the finances?”
  • Getting an annulment through the Catholic church
  • Why going to therapy, is like going to the gym
    • Instead of sweat, there are tears
  • Who said “At least he doesn’t hit you!” and why



Money:

  • Separate accounts, separate properties
  • His, hers, and ours

 

Food:

  • Intermittent fasting for 7 years
    • 8-10 hour eating window
    • Didn’t have to think as much about what she ate, but when
    • Abs come and go based on what you eat, how visible they are
  • How she packs her exercise equipment when they travel
  • Allen Satter’s roles of 
    • Parents roles: what and when
    • Children decide if and how much
  • If you never put a vegetable on their plate...
  • He is a creature of habit. I like variety
  • Fav stores: Costco, Bristol Farms, Ralphs, Instacart

 

TAKE-HOME POINTS 

  1. Next time you get upset or frustrated with your spouse for not doing something the way YOU would have done it, remember, You did NOT marry YOU! You married them. 
  2. Health is the greatest wealth and time is the greatest gift. 
  3. If you want to improve your diet and nutrition in general….Pick one thing at a time….give it some time to really make it a lifestyle change instead of a chore or diet you will not want to continue…..start eating more plants….start with one or two more veggie servings a day….Fast for an hour...if this is your thing...not everything will be your thing, but nutrition is not a sacrifice….it is a privilege if you allow it to slowly come into your life. 
  4. Marriage is not 50/50. Divorce IS!
  5. Parents' roles are what and when and Children decide if and how much.



WALK AWAY ASKING YOURSELF

  • What are the top 3 reasons I married my Hunny?
  • Do I want them to be just like me?
  • How can we be healthier as a family?
  • Do I allow my children to decide if and how much?
  • Is it possible to eat more plants or serve more plants to my family?

 

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